What does “giving in” sound like to you?
The Project
I gave 20 people a short phrase that depicts a certain mood. Everyone got the same phrase, but they get to interpret it however they want. Then I asked them to share with me three things based on how they connected with this phrase.
The three things I asked for:
- A song that relates to this phrase
- Their favorite line in the song
- A brief explanation of why they chose this song, what this song means to them, or how this song reminds them of the phrase
I compiled everyone’s responses and created a public Spotify playlist with their song selections to share with the world.
The Phrase: “Giving In”
The purpose of this project was to see how people can interpret the same phrase or idea in different ways based on their own unique life experiences. It’s also a reminder that music, just like any form of art, is powerful because it’s a merging of the artist’s creativity, intentions, and vulnerabilities and the meaning the listeners attribute to it. People can interpret the same song, even the same lines, in completely different ways. I think that’s such a beautiful thing. Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together.
The Playlist
Giving In || A Playlist For the World, By the World: Vol. 1
To really appreciate this project, my only request is that you read people’s explanations either right before or after you listen to the song, and try to put yourselves in their shoes for a bit. (Sorry, I only have a Spotify account at the moment.)
Spotify Playlist Cover Art: Nickki Nguyen
The People
Paulina (Marin, CA)
Michael Kiwanuka — Cold Little Heart
Did you ever want it? Did you want it bad?
I reflect on my past mistakes, on still being transfixed by my past experiences. Or not “giving in” or not surrendering. The silver lining in the struggle to “give in.” Real love is about giving everything. We think we can control emotions, people, ourselves. We think we can choose how much or how little to let people in. And instead of falling, instead of giving our all; instead of giving in and letting our hearts talk, we restrict- I restrict. All in the name of self protection = cold little heart.
Crystal (Emeryville, CA)
Bruno Major — Easily
Just because it won’t come easily doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try
I picked this song because a) it’s beautiful and b) I guess the phrase made me think of love and how surprisingly resistant I am to it now and how guarded I am against being vulnerable. I had trouble distinguishing giving in from giving up, because sometimes it feels the same to me. I sometimes feel that giving in to my feelings means I am giving up strength and empowerment. But this song is all about giving in and not giving up, and that maybe sometimes giving in is stronger than acting like I feel nothing and walking away.
Cece (New York, NY)
Yellowcard — OnlyOne
I let go,
There’s just no one, no one like you
You are my only,
My only one
It was our song. He’s forever going to be someone very special to me, our relationship the only one of its kind. The only person that I’ve felt like this for and the only relationship I’ve learned this much from. I’m going to give in, and leave it to the whatever’s supposed to happen.
Ashley (Berkeley, CA)
Sara Bareilles — Gravity
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
This song perfectly describes the relationship I had/have with my mental illnesses. I would get back up on my feet, and then the wave of depression would hit me so hard that I would “give in” — wallowing in my sorrows and feeling like there was absolutely no hope. Every time I hear this song, it’s bittersweet because I remember exactly how I felt during my worst moments. However, it also reminds me how far I’ve come since then. Definitely a song that’s going to hold a special place in my heart for the rest of my life.
Dashawn (New York, NY)
Mint Royale, Willem Dafoe — Ring
You’ve gotta draw your own map
Ring your own changes
Lead yourself by the hand into the unknown
To me, this song represents giving in to the fear of the unknown. It serves as a reminder to be spontaneous and to make sure you are living life to your fullest. Sometimes, that may require you to pave your own way, and that’s okay. On a personal level, I used to never be spontaneous or outgoing. I didn’t have to be. As a twin, my brother pretty much did all the heavy lifting when it came to meeting new people (I WAS the quiet one). Once he got a girlfriend though, he was pretty occupied. I had no idea how the hell to make new friends at the time, especially once everyone I knew became busy. I sorta had this fear of doing new things on my own, and that was new to me. From way back in 2013 when I heard Ring by Mint Royale, the phrase “Lead yourself by the hand into the unknown” has resonated with me, and still does today. This is sorta my hype song whenever I am doing something new for the first time.
Emily (San Jose, CA)
Snow Patrol — What If This Is All The Love You Ever Get?
What if it hurts like hell?
Then, it’ll hurt like hell
We are afraid to love because we are afraid of the pain that can come with it, particularly when our love is not reciprocated. When we “give in” to love, we are choosing love over our fear of it. Even if that love might end up hurting like hell, you will never have felt so alive. Giving in is giving it your all, and how can you truly love someone if you aren’t loving someone with every piece that’s left of you.
Kevin (San Francisco, CA)
Vansire, Sophie Meiers, Ivy Sole — Set Piece
I had my chance
I held your hand
I found a home inside myself
Since no home for me was left
This piece opens up deep and moody with the snare and bass. It makes me think of all the times I didn’t just ‘give in’ to the moment and embrace it for what it was. The perfectionist in me is always in the back of my mind telling me “this could be better”. Thinking that way can be toxic because it’ll leave you in an endless battle with yourself. You can’t expect every situation or person to be perfect whether it’s work, friends, or lovers. I tell myself all the time now, “Don’t let the moment pass because you were too busy being nit picky. It may never come again if you don’t ‘give in’”.
Andrew (New York, NY)
Solange — Cranes In The Sky
I tried to keep myself busy
I ran around in circles
Think I made myself dizzy
I slept it away, I sexed it away
I read it away
This album was one of my favorites, and in this song, some of Solange’s lyrics are so simple that they make the conversation around not feeling great be very relatable. When I thought of “giving in”, my first thought was giving in to your temptations, to your struggle. This song reminded me of that because Solange admits to giving in to all these different things she’s tried to “feel better” and having them not work for her. In the context of the album, it’s a beautiful look into the journey she’s going through to at least put in work to achieve peace with herself.
Nicholas (London, UK)
SYML — God I Hope This Year Is Better Than the Last
I get tired around this time, I blame it on the cold daylight
At the end of ’18, my job was taking a huge emotional toll on my body. I was pushing my body to its limits trying to accomplish never-ending work goals, but sacrificing my time, energy, and mental capacity. I was tired and wanted to forget the truth of what was happening at work, a way to escape. It was in my head 24/7 and I tried my best to forget about it with the gym, company with good friends, and just being alone. Ultimately, I realized this is life and you just have to give in to it sometimes, stop blaming others, hopefully roll with the punches.
Tu (San Jose, CA)
Calvin Harris — How Deep Is Your Love
No inhibition, no fear
I chose this song because I gave a lot for the first boy I “dated”. I just always worked around his time. It was up to him when he wanted to talk to me or when he wanted to see me. I just waited. It was always his way. I thought giving in to him and his ways would make him like me more. That wasn’t the case, of course. This song came out when I realized I was really into him. I connected him to the song because I really wanted his love.
Belinda (Sydney, AU)
Lil Wayne, Ty Dolla $ign, XXXTENTACION — Scared of the Dark
You know I see dead people, I just tell ’em, “Get a life”
It’s from the newest Spider-Man movie, and it’s played during a scene where the problem is starting to be resolved — but if you listen to the song, it sounds depressing (slower bpm, dark atmosphere). Focus on the lyrics though, and you’ll get the feeling that it’s about trying to build up a greater resolve.
I think “giving in” is basically “giving into” the flow of things, and to stop resisting, but that’s a terrifying feeling, hence we tend to give “giving in” a negative connotation, and make it seem like a bad thing.
This song also really resonates with me because my favourite line, on its own, makes it seem like the person is strong, or callous. But put it in the wider context of the song, and you realise, all they’re doing is trying.
Nhan (New York, NY)
Florence + The Machine — Never Let Me Go
I’m not giving up. I’m giving in.
Taken literally, “giving in” means to surrender, which at face value usually isn’t a good thing. But the way Florence uses the phrase in her song suggests that she is tired of constantly fighting, and “giving in” in this context simply means she wants to stop fighting and lay her head down to rest.
This resonates with me because for most of my adult life, I spent a majority of my time and energy fighting myself, my depression, and things that I couldn’t control. It was draining. It took a lot out of me and my ability to care for the people I love. Most days all I wanted was to literally lay my head down and rest. This past year, I made a conscious decision to give in to these fears and insecurities I have, focus on things that I can control, and let life play itself out. I realized I was choosing the wrong battles to fight.
Anh (Berkeley, CA)
Yaeji — drink i’m sippin on
That’s not it
That’s not it
No, that’s not it
For me, “giving in” means you’re acknowledging something. It doesn’t necessarily mean defeat, but merely you don’t want to pursue further but just accept. So this song, even though it’s in Korean, I understood the line “that’s not it, that’s not it, no that’s not it”. So essentially, it’s the process of emotion where you’re refusing to acknowledge something at first, and it’s a constant denial until you just learn to accept whatever you’ve been internally debating. Whether it’s a negative emotion or an idea, it’s at first denial, but then “giving in” and accepting an emotion.
Anna (New York, NY)
Regina Spektor — Samson
You are my sweetest downfall
This song is a subversive take on the biblical love story of Samson and Delilah. The biblical story is driven by betrayal and vengefulness — Delilah takes advantage of her intimacy with Samson to remove the source of his superhuman strength, and then God grants Samson his strength back so he can destroy the temple of Delilah’s people, also killing himself. Regina Spektor’s song portrays a love story that is unsensational and therefore a version unknown to the world. I chose this song based on the prompt phrase “giving in” because Samson gives in to the vulnerability of love with acceptance and without dramatics. The song implies that vulnerability is not simply the equivalent of weakness, but instead vulnerability can be quiet, poignant, and cherishable (“You are my sweetest downfall”).
Nicole (New York, NY)
Tayo Sound — Yes or No
We both know it’s true, I won’t find nobody like you
This line reminds me of the intense connection between me and my ex. We’ve broken up and gotten back together so many times because of our unique bond and intense connection that I don’t think either of us will ever experience with someone else again — each time we get back together, we are “giving in”. I think I can experience love with someone else, but it won’t be the same connection.
Jacklin (Berkeley, CA)
8 Graves — Bury Me Low
If I die today, it won’t be so bad
I can escape all the nightmares I’ve had
All of my angry and all of my sad
Gone in the blink of an eye
When everything is too much and I start spiraling downwards with exponential acceleration, all I can think of is how I’m a burden to the world, and everyone would be better without a useless and incompetent individual like myself. Taking my life or one day not waking up is the only way I can escape my hell on earth and rid everyone of my draining existence. It’s selfish and can be considered a cowardly act, but when it gets to be too much, then I have no strength or drive to hold on anymore and I really don’t mind if that was my last breath on earth because maybe I’d find peace when I’m gone.
Tina (San Francisco, CA)
Vic Mensa — Coffee & Cigarettes
A shootout in the background as I told you that I love you
A gunshot to the heart couldn’t have hit me as hard as you did
This song makes me sad when I listen to it. Really captures the devastation of making yourself completely vulnerable to someone who doesn’t reciprocate. But I listen to it anyway, because it’s beautiful and it’s okay to give in to your sadness sometimes. Sadness is just as valid an emotion as any other, and it serves a purpose just like any other emotion. Just don’t stay in it for too long. Honor it, then move on.
Hilmar (Reykjavik, IS)
Sia — Chandelier
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier
For a long time I had a hard time expressing my feelings. However, if I couldn’t say the words, I tried to sing them out. I would cry out the lyrics to sad/beautiful songs to give into the pain I would feel inside. Singing “I’m gonna swing from the chandelier” always made me cry and I would feel a bit better because it made me feel human again, not like a robot. Giving into the pain I had felt for so long.
Archie (Romford, UK)
Petit Biscuit — Night Trouble
This song reminds me of my struggles during my first year of Uni. I was living in a small room in central London on my own. My anxiety and depression controlled my thoughts into isolating myself from others. I would use music, especially this song to remind myself that life’s not so bad and that I can achieve anything I put my mind to in terms of creating stories. This track inspired me to stay motivated even through the times I felt like giving in. My favourite part of the track is from 4:00–4:30. Even though there’s no vocals, this part reflects the climax on the track, which inspired me in life.
Nickki (Oakland, CA)
Maggie Rogers — Fallingwater
I never loved you fully in the way I could
This song starts out with her saying she thought she was ok and that she was doing fine, but as it turns out, she was fighting the whole time, like swimming upstream, and now she’s stuck. It’s an analogy I’ve used a lot when I talk about a love where you’re constantly battling with yourself and holding on to something that’s not right. You end up not being able to love the way you’re meant to love because you’re so busy going against the current. Sometimes you fight for so long that you forget why you’re fighting and you’re just holding on because it’s all you know. The title “Fallingwater” is her finally giving in. She’s giving in to the currents and letting go and finally falling. It’s not just about giving in, it’s about embracing uncertainty and trusting that you’ll end up in the right place.
The Project (cont.)
Thanks again to those who were a part of this project. Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with me and the world. Thanks to those who took the time to listen to the playlist and read through all of the stories.
If you’d like to be a part of this project in the future, please send me a message on IG: @nhan.t.vu
Love,
NV
